I still have one last moving exam
for the first quarter, Anatomy and Physiology, that will be held next Monday
before this quarter’s culmination. I honestly don’t know how I managed to
stretch myself up even up to this week. Fatigue is all I could feel.
I’m stressed out.
I’m exhausted.
I’m burned out.
I’m drowning and the more I try to
lift myself up to breathe, the deeper my weight sinks. I’m breathing water, I’m
catching fire, and I’m juggling suspended particulates.
Sleep is divine. It’s my temporary
escape.
I wish I could sleep
…. for a little longer;
I’ve been thrown into my life’s
most strenuous three weeks yet. It was too demanding that my over-all health
couldn’t keep up. Long exams; one after another – with only minutes as
intervals, Performance Tasks that take up major parts on my remarks, 45% as a
basis, Quarterly Examinations that could either break or make my future, and
College Entrance Tests that would define everything I did in high school.
Those three weeks was a challenge
of beliefs. It made me do compromises.
Numbered midnight called for a
routine, burning of their oils. In my case, they were already burned out yet
still am I flickering them with worn-out match sticks.
Ang
hirap pala ‘no? ‘Yung hindi ka matalino, masipag ka lang.
Currently, I’m sick with consistent
cough and cold for the last three weeks. I think, hindi pa siya matatapos.
Pero
ako, tapos na tapos na.
There are bad days,
And these are some of them.
I know this is just temporary,
A permanent roundabout of
temporaries.
Sigh. God, please help me make it.
“11 For I know the plans I have for
you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to
give you hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11
The uncertainty no longer excites me; instead, fears me more.
The uncertainty no longer excites me; instead, fears me more.
I’m giving you up everything, Lord.
I will be better, soon.
In Jesus name, I pray.
